three minute read
Commemorating special events is a passion of mine.
In grade 6 we were all asked to write two things that we’d like to see changed in our school. Back then it was radical to ask children to contribute in a substantial way like that. As happens, most kids wrote that they wanted a swimming pool and a new principal.
Sometimes we don’t truly know someone’s deepest intentions until we push back a little and then see where they stand. Well, we kids responded to the task with light-hearted cheek. Mostly because we were not at all prepared or primed to believe our thoughts were more than words on a page. Who’d takes us seriously?
So when the school responded by putting aside the afternoon sessions and inviting the principal in, we knew our voices were being heard. In this second chance to speak the teaches created a beautiful environment in the classroom where a candle was lit, the blinds were pulled down, and we all sat around on the floor, even the principal. She said how she felt about our notes and shared her hopes for us and for our learning.
I don’t remember the details but I remember the kindness, authenticity and love that was present. And my surprise we didn’t get in trouble. We got love instead.
Since then, I’ve been a big fan of ceremony, especially one that comes from a real need.
During lockdowns I have hosted yoga soirées in response to the feeling of aloneness. Friends come together in wellbeing practices and see each other in their most radiant light.
This is the Reflection Guide I give clients.
What is a reflection?
Writing a reflection means taking some quiet time to connect to the soul’s voice within. Once heard, we naturally feel a deeper connection to the soulfulness of other.
Usually it is written down as a paragraph or two and shared with others in a specially formed group that come together under a clear intention.
What should it consist of?
Gentle honesty. A feeling of freedom & safety. Truthfulness. Kindness. Your own ‘voice.’
Taking care so that any material that feels a bit raw, can arise and land in a safe and kind place.
The best reflections often come from a radical acceptance of things as they are, without the overlay of trying to fix or change anything.
Oftentimes there is an acknowledgement of obstacles and gratitude for their deep lessons.
What shouldn’t it consist of?
The reflection is ready to be shared when it is free from unprocessed material. Unless it is named as such and the author feels comfortable to share it. Because the purpose of a reflection is to shed the light of our consciousness on what would otherwise be left in the shadows unchecked.
You can think of a reflection as a way to clear and uplift the energy. One might say that a reflection will shift the energy from low vibration / frequency to a higher vibration / frequency.
We don’t have to bare our soul to touch the hearts of others and feel the joy of human connection.
In contemplation we use writing so we can ‘spill it all out’, then craft and redraft. This is the act of consciously redirecting the story. We enter that sacred moment where we can infuse the construction of our thoughts with our highest intentions. Cerebral, yes, but with Heart.
Our deeper, truer self can then shine through what would have been unconscious fears, desires and distractions.
The rule is: Nothing to hide, nothing to defend, nothing to prove.
Why is it so very useful?
The power of a reflection, written down and shared among a group is to make your heartfelt intentions - for yourself and your life - come true.
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Instructions I give yoga soirée participants
I’ll give you an example from the Yoga Soirée’s I hold for the Bride to Be.
To conclude the ceremony I ask each participant to write their wish for the Bride. Here are the instructions:
“Write something that you wish for her. Not something for her to change or become. Think of an internal state that you wish for her to feel in this present moment. Imagine you are completing -with one single word - the phrase
“I am Bride to Be, and in this moment I feel ……(x)….”
Her support crew usually write words like: calm, relief, confident, delighted, joyful
This is important because in some instances the groom is not fully admired by all the women, and they might have written things like “ Be strong and don’t put up with anything!”
But we can see how that is loaded in unprocessed judgment. “Confident” might be a more supportive word to offer in this case.
Tip: if you feel you are no good with words or with writing, just pause and listen inward and chose one single word that summaries your intention. A truthful word that aligns with your deepest intention will resonate in some way from your being into each sentence.
You are weaving the heart-words that make up your reflection and that is gift to self and to others.
All the best,
Katie