Too much sun or too little water: trauma through imposition or through neglect
I remember years ago being surprised when a friend said she was traumatised by the process of bringing up her daughter. I thought ‘trauma’ was a big word when referring to being tired or at times overwhelmed.
She decided one child was enough and 25 years on she was able to joke, reflect and open up.
But is trauma a big word? Or is it appropriate given what the mind and emotions face?
The big three traumas we often think of are:
A physical trauma like an illness or accident that ends up in the E.R.
Trauma from assault, sexual abuse, emotional/mental abuse.
PTSD veterans of war / refugee displacement
But from the perspective of the body, all trauma is some insult to the delicate balance of the nervous system.
It is an assault to our system that is registered in the body. It is an internal experience.
So one does not have to have fought a war or had a dramatic event occur in their lives.
Each of us has our own homeostasis, a way of feeling that feels ‘kinda right’. You have a certain amount of energy, clarity of mind, regularity of breath that feels like you. Like normal life.
When that gets a jolt, or a series of small but unrelenting jolts, finding your balance can be more than just tricky.
It can feel like being a kite untethered and floating wildly and uncontrollably in the wind. Anxieties are quick to arise but can also take root. You might start to withdraw and limit your interactions with the world, or act out and take on big project and new ventures to avoid quieter feelings. You might experience excessive worry or interrupted sleep.
Trauma can be the result of
workplace bullying,
a lack of good connection with the people who reside in your home,
death of someone you love,
exclusion from your own society (currently vaccine mandates are a cause of trauma)
child custody arrangements,
a robbery,
getting fired / being dropped from a romance.
So never discount what you are feeling and the need for deep and skilful care just because there was no “dramatic event”.
As a body centred experience, trauma is often best managed with a body-centred approach. One that acknowledges the violation felt to both Self and the nervous system (including the adrenal glands and other aspects of the endocrine system).
Bringing the body into therapy is enriching and one I recommend. Whether exhausted from parenting, work, or meeting more challenging shocks to the system, taking time for deep healing really does matter.
Here are my top 3 guides to body centred trauma therapy:
Start where you are
There is no need to go outside of your current experience more than is totally comfortable. Avoid complex breath practices or challenging yoga poses. Calm the system with what works and feels good both during and after. Have a teacher that can skilfully read this.
Take a fluid approach
While structure can be good when we are looking for reassurance, be willing to try something if it feels right. One client needed to exhale loudly out the mouth rather than slow and long through the nose, and we adjusted the practice that day to suit.
Use the earth
The first session with me usually involves feeling supported by the earth in profound and reassuring ways. We lie comfortably on the yoga mat and through gentle, simple movements, bring fluid into the connective tissues of the body (fascia) to restore a sense of wholeness.
I look forward to meeting your nervous system, to welcoming the whole of who you are and proving a deep feeling of calming stability that uplifts the spirit. The path is there and it has been walked a thousand times before. It is ready for you.